hanging in and hanging on

Anxiety levels got really bad last week, and depression started to kick up. We've upped my Effexor a bit more. I've also schedule a check-up with my Primary care, and went to get blood drawn today for the usual work-up (thyroid and metabolic levels). Appointment isn't until the 29th, but I wanted to get the blood work out of the way. I also found a counselor to start seeing and had my first appointment yesterday. The appointment went well and I think I will work well with this therapist. I have another appointment in a week and some breathing/mindfulness exercises to practice to try to help with the anxiety. We talked a lot about the effect of past trauma on the nervous system and how all the transitions I've been dealing with have put me into "not-safe hyper-reactive mode." My appointment was after work, and between the anxiety over seeing new therapist and a long day I was wiped.

Thankfully I had the foresight to plan, and accomplish two things with one work from home request. I asked to work from home today so I could go get blood drawn and not have to worry about getting into work very late. It was fasting blood work so I had to go first thing in the morning. Even if you have an appointment it can take forever (my insurance only covers LabCorp labs and they are usually chronically understaffed). I have a work laptop now, and the remote access key (VPN) so I can easily do my job from anywhere. The bonus was that it would give me a day of quiet to recoup my nerves a little bit. My co-workers are very nice, but can be a loud and a little much for someone who is feeling easily overstimulated. I'm back at the office tomorrow, but then have the weekend to rest some more.

I will eventually find my balance and keep it for a while. But for now it is best to take things a breath at a time.