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alee_grrlSorry to have been so quiet. Life keeps marching on and I just haven't had a whole lot to say. Still trying to sort out varying fatigue issues and trying to stay a bit more active to help with my knees and other arthritic joins. Still working freelance as a paralegal and professional services consultant (with editing and other creative consulting done as well). I have one steady gig that provides me with 20 hours a week, and a few other clients who have short projects for me from time to time.
As much as I hate to admit it, because it feels like I'm slacking, I do find working part time to be a better fit for me. It gives me more rest days and time to accomplish chores and doctor's appointments, plus time to actually try to be active. Despite all my disability advocacy, I still struggle with internalized ableism and the American cultural ideology that ties productivity to worth. But I'm working on letting that go and being thankful that I can work part-time right now and not worry about being homeless. It's a huge blessing and one that I am aware many never receive.
The other benefit of working part time is that I actually have more spoons for social activities and events from time to time. A local arts club has been offering Pride Poetry workshops hosted by their Pride poets in residence once a month for the past few months. I attended my first one in February and had a blast and have made sure to make each of the successive ones since. There's one last one next month, then a reading by the poets in residence during Pride, which will be a lot of fun. Each workshop an introduction a concept or specific type of poetry, followed by discussion and then time for folks to try writing something that fits with the topic for that workshop. I'll be posting the poems I've written as a result of the workshop after I post this update.
In health news, one of the suspected contributing factors for my fatigue is that my testosterone levels were a bit low. So I'm trying a new hormone balancing treatment involving pellets that are inserted subcutaneously and then dissolve slowly over a period of months. I got the first one place about a month ago. I think it's helping, but it's sometimes hard to tell considering the other health issues I'm also trying to sort out, like the seasonal allergies that are kicking my ass. I have gotten allergy tested and as soon as I can switch to the Medicaid managed care provider (because my state doesn't have straight up medicaid, you have to go with one of the medicaid plans managed by private insurance) that covers allergy shots at my PCP's office rather than at an allergists office I will start getting allergy shots to help alleviate the nasty seasonal allergies that are basically year round for me (the joy of being allergic to some trees, grasses, and weeds, plus some molds and mildews).
My moods been a bit all over the place as well, which could be one of the side-effects of the hormone treatments given that the week after I got the first pellet placed I felt quite a bit like I used to feel around my period (irritable, emotional labile, etc). It's also about a year now since I got fired, and while I am well rid of that toxic work place, the whole experience was still a huge blow to my physical and mental health. So I'm trying to give myself lots of kindness and understanding this week as I struggle with being in a bit of a funk.
So all in all, I'm doing okay and have no real complaints. Just taking most days as they come. Been listening to a lot of music on the drive to and from work. Highly recommend Beyonce's Cowboy Carter album, it's gorgeous. But another song that has completely caught my heart is the one the title of this post comes from, "On the Road" by Walk Off the Earth.
As much as I hate to admit it, because it feels like I'm slacking, I do find working part time to be a better fit for me. It gives me more rest days and time to accomplish chores and doctor's appointments, plus time to actually try to be active. Despite all my disability advocacy, I still struggle with internalized ableism and the American cultural ideology that ties productivity to worth. But I'm working on letting that go and being thankful that I can work part-time right now and not worry about being homeless. It's a huge blessing and one that I am aware many never receive.
The other benefit of working part time is that I actually have more spoons for social activities and events from time to time. A local arts club has been offering Pride Poetry workshops hosted by their Pride poets in residence once a month for the past few months. I attended my first one in February and had a blast and have made sure to make each of the successive ones since. There's one last one next month, then a reading by the poets in residence during Pride, which will be a lot of fun. Each workshop an introduction a concept or specific type of poetry, followed by discussion and then time for folks to try writing something that fits with the topic for that workshop. I'll be posting the poems I've written as a result of the workshop after I post this update.
In health news, one of the suspected contributing factors for my fatigue is that my testosterone levels were a bit low. So I'm trying a new hormone balancing treatment involving pellets that are inserted subcutaneously and then dissolve slowly over a period of months. I got the first one place about a month ago. I think it's helping, but it's sometimes hard to tell considering the other health issues I'm also trying to sort out, like the seasonal allergies that are kicking my ass. I have gotten allergy tested and as soon as I can switch to the Medicaid managed care provider (because my state doesn't have straight up medicaid, you have to go with one of the medicaid plans managed by private insurance) that covers allergy shots at my PCP's office rather than at an allergists office I will start getting allergy shots to help alleviate the nasty seasonal allergies that are basically year round for me (the joy of being allergic to some trees, grasses, and weeds, plus some molds and mildews).
My moods been a bit all over the place as well, which could be one of the side-effects of the hormone treatments given that the week after I got the first pellet placed I felt quite a bit like I used to feel around my period (irritable, emotional labile, etc). It's also about a year now since I got fired, and while I am well rid of that toxic work place, the whole experience was still a huge blow to my physical and mental health. So I'm trying to give myself lots of kindness and understanding this week as I struggle with being in a bit of a funk.
So all in all, I'm doing okay and have no real complaints. Just taking most days as they come. Been listening to a lot of music on the drive to and from work. Highly recommend Beyonce's Cowboy Carter album, it's gorgeous. But another song that has completely caught my heart is the one the title of this post comes from, "On the Road" by Walk Off the Earth.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-25 12:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-25 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-26 10:07 am (UTC)I'm glad you managed to get into the situation with part-time work etc. Sometimes I feel guilty that I have relatively few working hours etc (though it's enough to call it full time), but honestly, I don't know how I'd even handle more. Still, that productivity-is-all mindset is hard to kick.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-26 12:53 pm (UTC)