hanging in and hanging on

[alee_grrl]

Anxiety levels got really bad last week, and depression started to kick up. We've upped my Effexor a bit more. I've also schedule a check-up with my Primary care, and went to get blood drawn today for the usual work-up (thyroid and metabolic levels). Appointment isn't until the 29th, but I wanted to get the blood work out of the way. I also found a counselor to start seeing and had my first appointment yesterday. The appointment went well and I think I will work well with this therapist. I have another appointment in a week and some breathing/mindfulness exercises to practice to try to help with the anxiety. We talked a lot about the effect of past trauma on the nervous system and how all the transitions I've been dealing with have put me into "not-safe hyper-reactive mode." My appointment was after work, and between the anxiety over seeing new therapist and a long day I was wiped.

Thankfully I had the foresight to plan, and accomplish two things with one work from home request. I asked to work from home today so I could go get blood drawn and not have to worry about getting into work very late. It was fasting blood work so I had to go first thing in the morning. Even if you have an appointment it can take forever (my insurance only covers LabCorp labs and they are usually chronically understaffed). I have a work laptop now, and the remote access key (VPN) so I can easily do my job from anywhere. The bonus was that it would give me a day of quiet to recoup my nerves a little bit. My co-workers are very nice, but can be a loud and a little much for someone who is feeling easily overstimulated. I'm back at the office tomorrow, but then have the weekend to rest some more.

I will eventually find my balance and keep it for a while. But for now it is best to take things a breath at a time.

Comments

[jelazakazone]

<3 I am glad you are taking good care of yourself.

[alee_grrl]

<3

[untonuggan]

*sends good thoughts*

and blugh, labcorp

[alee_grrl]

<3

Yeah, labcorp is pretty awful.

just FYI, in case your insurance stops being uncooperative

[untonuggan]

Labcorp is part of the reason I so rarely comply with getting labwork done.

One of my doctors recently recommended Sunrise laboratories. I think I stepped into an alternate universe, because when I went there was (1) no wait; (2) the lab tech was polite; (3) she got blood from my paltry veins on the first stick; (4) when I admired the stickers, she gave me five (5!) Frozen stickers; (5) no TV blaring in the waiting room if I remember correctly (I wasn't in the waiting room long though). Also, apparently the lab does financial aid for people who are uninsured (not sure if this also applies to those who are out of network).

I do not know if this is true of every location, but apparently my experience is not an anomaly based on what my doctor said about other patients she has sent there. So, you know, if it's an option for you ever or if their financial aid thing works for you or if you know of someone for whom this information is relevant: I am sharing.

Re: just FYI, in case your insurance stops being uncooperative

[alee_grrl]

Oh, that is absolutely awesome information to have. Thank you! <3

[calissa]

I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling, though I am very glad to hear you're taking such good care of yourself.

[alee_grrl]

Thank you.

[shanaqui]

You are amazing at self-care. ♥

[alee_grrl]

Aw. Thank you. It's taken me a long time and a lot of practice, but it's been worth it.

[breezeshadow]

Working from home has been my favourite -- whenever I feel really sick, I can just WFH without worrying about falling behind. Unfortunately on Wednesday I took a LEGIT personal day because I haven't slept well and so I was nearly non-functional, which put me behind. But at least my practitioner convinced me to do that at all.

I hope the Effexor helps and that the anxiety improves.

[alee_grrl]

Thank you.

I hope that you are able to get some rest. I know how hard on the body and mind not sleeping well can be.

[breezeshadow]

I truly have no idea how I managed college and grad school with virtually no restful sleep. It's mind-boggling to me.

But yeah, practitioner recommended trying half a pill of Ativan to supplement my sleeping meds, and that did help tell my brain to cut the HDTV X-Files dreams down to normal-TV soap opera dreams. So I am feeling a lot less exhausted now, despite what that analogy may imply. XD

[alee_grrl]

Normal-tv soap opera dreams are much less exhausting than HDTV X-Files dreams. There is usually much less high-depth terror and weirdness in the soap opera dreams (at least in my experience). :)

[breezeshadow]

I actually very rarely have nightmares, and my dreams are ALWAYS strange. But there's X-Files strange and soap opera strange, and one of those is a lot easier to brush off in the morning :)

[sulien]

Glad to hear that you have the option to work from home when necessary, that can be a lifesaver. I hope the doc can get your meds properly straightened out and that the new therapist is a good one who will help you to smoothly integrate into your new life situation. *sending many hugs and lots of positive, supportive vibes your way*

[alee_grrl]

Thank you.