alee_grrl | A lil bit farther down memory lane

So this is the last of the old poems that I found. It was written in the fall of 2002, making it just shy of ten years old. This one is even darker than the others, having been written during a time when I was just starting to realize the depths of my anger (at my life/circumstances, etc). I was a semester away from graduating with my Bachelor's degree and had begun plans to flee the area and my family there. That close to leaving, I was realizing just how caged I felt. There was so much that I felt I couldn't say for fear of the consequences. This poem grew out of those frustrations. And so I present to you, "Silently Screaming."

Silently Screaming

Your verbal ejaculate washes around me, over me,
tinted with red anger and black fear. Body frozen, my
mind stumbles, clinging to any thoughts that flit by.
My mouth opens to spill passion
words back at you. Words throttled by some
sliver of self that still wishes to wrap its arms around you.
Crescent marked palms sweat; eyes shine too brightly.
And I stand silently screaming
amidst a stream of words that bruise me, bleed me.
Passions spent, your footsteps echo down the street.
And I am left bleeding invisibly, wondering
if I will always be silently screaming.