Asexuality research and paper!

[alee_grrl]

I get to write a 20 page paper on asexuality this semester. I'm going to do a broad overview of the topic for the introduction, look at the issues of cultural discrimination and examine how that discrimination might play out in legal settings. I was particularly interested in addressing on of my classmates comments that basically said zie doubted that asexuals face the same sort of legal discrimination that other folks in the queer community do.

We're going to be allowed to use a wide variety of sources including websites and blogs. So if you have materials on this topic that you think might be helpful or interesting please feel free to mention them in the comments. I have some already (like AVEN) but am certainly on the lookout for more. I'd also love to bounce title ideas off folks.

Comments

Probably TMI...

[sulien]

Unfortunately, I have no suggestions for resources, but I hope you post your findings as you go along. I've grown to be mostly asexual over the last decade or so and I'm not sure if it's just that I'm celibate and have been for so long that I just don't care any more, or if I'm truly asexual. Considering the fact that I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, I'm beginning to think it's more the latter.

*cough* Pardon the TMI. I really am looking forward to reading about your findings, though!

Re: Probably TMI...

[alee_grrl]

Not TMI at all. One of the things I've heard but need to research more is that our levels of sexual desire change throughout life and that sexual desire, sometimes referred to as sexual attraction, is a spectrum much like orientation and gender. So you have those who are sexual and remain so, are not sexual and remain so, and those whose levels of sexual attraction fluctuate a bit or who find that they feel sexual attraction only if they have a deeper connection (this is sometimes referred to as demisexual or gray sexual).

It was only during my first year at law school, which was also my first year on dreamwidth, that I came across asexuality as an identity. Prior to that I had thought that I was "broken" in some fashion, or that I'd been celibate for so long that I was just used to it. When I found out I had Lyme, a disease that apparently attacks libido in addition to so many other things, I wondered if my lack of sexual drive was due to that. I've determined that it is okay either way. I can rarely recall ever feeling sexual attraction or the need for sex (speaking of TMI), and it usually required some deeper connection those few times I did feel it.

There are also quite a few misunderstandings about asexuality. I highly recomment The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) as a place to start. It has some great information, lots of wonderful blogs and forums as well. Being asexual does not necessarily mean being aromantic (not wanting the emotional intimacy of a romantic but not necessarily sexual relationship. I know sexuals who are aromantic, and asexuals who are romantic (want the emotional intimacy of a partnership).

I will be happy to post bits and pieces as I go. I'm kind of hoping that maybe I can get it polished enough to submit for publication.

Re: Probably TMI...

[sulien]

Getting published would be excellent, as I think there is definitely a need out there for more information on this sort of thing.

Thanks for the link! I'll definitely check that out; it would be nice to communicate with more folks who feel the same.

Part of my own problem is that it takes a lot for me to form a romantic attachment these days and that is necessary for me to feel sexually attracted; I don't necessarily feel sexually attracted even then. Another part of the problem is that it's difficult to find someone else who is the same way and I refuse to lead anyone on (not that you suggested it, I'm sure you feel the same way). Another thing not in favor of me forming a close relationship is finding a man in my age bracket who does not expect me to be a combination of their Mother, Housekeeper and Sex Slave, let alone have my own strong opinions and be a complete nerd/geek. Most women in my age bracket are still very sexually active and want that in any romantic relationship, so women are out too. Add to that the fact that I'm not religious of any variety and you can forget it.

Yep, I'll take celibacy and asexuality!

Re: Probably TMI...

[alee_grrl]

Another part of the problem is that it's difficult to find someone else who is the same way and I refuse to lead anyone on (not that you suggested it, I'm sure you feel the same way).

I do indeed feel the same way. I haven't really dated much for this reason. Now I'm starting to realize that it might be possible to date within the asexual community. Additionally as I educate myself about the various types of attraction and the variations on the sexual desire/attraction spectrum I am more willing to discuss this with potential partners be they asexual or sexual. The more I explore this part of my identity the more comfortable I am in my own skin, which is a wonderful feeling. :) It is nice to finally have the words to describe how I feel.

Re: Probably TMI...

[sulien]

Juste skimmed the forum on AVEN and, holy crap, does a lot of the stuff folks are saying sound familiar!!! Thank you again for that link; I'll be setting up a profile and checking things out in more depth when I'm more coherent.

Re: Probably TMI...

[alee_grrl]

I still haven't gone too deep into the site, it is just that rich with information! Definitely worth exploring more. :)

Okay...

[ysabetwordsmith]

I've posted a lot about asexuality. Feel free
to use any of that. Probably the easiest to
find is the piece I did on nonsexual intimacies,
which I wrote out because those are so devalued
in contrast to sexual plot themes and culture.
http://ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com/1968018.html

Re: Okay...

[alee_grrl]

Thank you so much!

asexuality and legal issues

[paganaidd]

I was thinking about possible legal issues and I run into the same ones same gender couples run into. Children, medical power of attourney, health care etc. The two things our law recognizes as paramount are blood ties and sexual ties. So there is agitation for same gender marriage, but not for nonsexual marriage, for instance.

So, one has a husband with whom one is (presumably) sexual, whom society favors in all things legal. One might also have a nonsexual wife (and here I find myself resisting the urge to put quotes around it showing how deep that conditioning is). One is in a car accident with husband and is incapacitated. Often in legal matters, one's blood kin (who might well be estranged) will be favored over this nonblood, nonsexually related person even if proper forms are filled out.

Re: asexuality and legal issues

[alee_grrl]

This was very much where my thinking went when I was first contemplated possible legal issues. I hadn't quite reached the thought on the relationship (blood being preferred over non-blood), but that is a very good point.