Poem: The War Within (Final Version)

[alee_grrl]

So I did some redrafting of The War Within. Tightened up some of the language and form. Thoughts and constructive criticism appreciated as always. Additionally if you want to share, please do. All I ask is that my user name and maybe a link back to this post or my blog be included.

The War Within

Long term disease, chronic illness, isn't a fight,
isn't a boxing match where you see who won this round.
It is entrenched guerrilla warfare within your own body.

The invading disease is persistent and hungry for life,
and our bodies' defenses are eroded
by constant and brutal assault;
tricked by the adaptability of the invading disease,
made to think that the intruder belongs.

Each treatment, each drug is another piece of armament
for our rallying defenses, that little bit extra
to help turn the tide of the war.
We must ensure nutrition and hydration
else we weaken more; we must vigilantly guard
against opportunists that would take advantage
of our reduced resistance.

In bodies that are worn out from an internal war,
we must still find the energy to live our lives
to do all the things we need to do to improve
our chances of survival, and hope that our victory is a final one.
It is accepting and coping with the fact that
you have to hurt yourself to hurt the disease
it has become a part of you. Every bit of treatment
comes with a price for you, because you can't separate
the two. You will get sicker before you ever start improving.

And just when you are feeling decent,
time will come for the next round
and you show up at your doctor's and
take the treatment as directed
because you want to survive this war.

Yes, we are fighters
but not in some ringside boxing match
we fight in a war that might not end for us
it is a war that we might fight until death
Yes, we are fighters
But more importantly we are survivors.
We will keep going until we can go no more
and then ask our friends to carry us further if they are able
until we can pick ourselves up and go on again.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Comments

[syntaxofthings]

I love the bolded "fight". My chronic disease is not as aggressive as this, but... ugh. I can relate to an extent.

[alee_grrl]

In my mind the aggressiveness isn't the issue, but the persistent nature of chronic disease. Thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you liked it.

[syntaxofthings]

Mm, yes. The fact that I've lived with asthma for over ten years and will live with it for the rest of my life - it's definitely an extended battle. I plan to link this to people.

[alee_grrl]

Please do. I am quite happy to have written something that people want to share with others. :D

[lynnoconnacht]

I love how rooted this is and yet has such strong universal appeal. Like syntaxofthings said, it's relatable to an extent. It still gives me chills to read and I think you did a terrific job in tightening this up. It's a very, very powerful piece.

[alee_grrl]

::blushes:: Thank you.