alee_grrl: Sheet of paper with decoratively written "just breathe" on dark cloth background (just breath)
[personal profile] alee_grrl
So one class has posted grades so far. I got a B- on my Contracts final. Part of me feels like I should be really happy with this grade as I was worried about this final. It was my first law school final, it was closed book, and I had missed quite a few classes due to depression and fibro flares. But my Hermione tendencies are screaming at me that this just ins't good enough. I have spent a great deal of time trying to convince myself that a B average is fine, but I've never had less than a 3.0 and rarely less than a 3.5 GPA and if I get one C I might just find myself with a lower GPA than I've ever had.

While intellectually I know that grades are less important that actual skills, and I have actual skills aplenty, part of me has been trained to see grades as a marker of accomplishment and getting less than a 3.5 is a sign of failure. It's ridiculous, but the thought of it has my gut in knots.

So I am trying to acknowledge that this is an old routine, or old programing if you will, and that it isn't a valid program anymore. I remind myself that I have lots of skills and am a great asset in an office. This is all much easier said than done though.

I think I'll distract myself with some cleaning. That is at least one way to feel accomplished. :)

Date: 2011-01-11 05:43 am (UTC)
sulien: Made from a photo I took of Big Lagoon in Humboldt, California, many years ago. DO NOT TAKE. (Default)
From: [personal profile] sulien
B- is actually damned good for a grade in law school, most especially when you consider the fact that your health issues kept you out of class and undoubtedly kept you from studying as much as would have otherwise. There is also a big difference between undergraduate courses and a specialized field of study like law, it isn't nearly as easy.

Most people realize that not everyone tests well under every circumstance and you are absolutely right that good, sharp skills are far more important than grades.

*hands you a plate of calorie free chocolate fudge brownies* I think you owe yourself a pat on the back for doing so well despite the factors against you. *nods*

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