Poem: Sometimes

[alee_grrl]

It's been a rather rough week and I am very low on spoons. I have a lot going on emotionally and mentally and I wrote this poem to work through some of it. I do not really wish to discuss the events of the week on my blog at this moment, but would like to share the poem.  It's fairly vague and general and has no real discussion about depression or other potentially triggery things.  It's essentially about making a hard choice, particularly in the context of a relationship.  I've put it under a cut in case people do not have the spoons to read it at the moment.



Sometimes
the hardest thing
is living your life
for you

Somedays
the hardest choice
is doing the
selfish thing

Some choices are

not

 

negotiations

Some prices are
too much

 

to ask.

Some days
I can't give
what you need or
what you ask for

Sometimes
I have to take
my heart
back

Comments

[jjhunter]

There is a quality here of disjointed edges (quite literal) and implacable, sharp steps toward heart-break, heart-redrawn. I do not need to know the details to hear how hard this is for you.

I hope these lines redrawn, these boundaries changed, give you more of yourself again down the road.

[alee_grrl]

There is a quality here of disjointed edges (quite literal) and implacable, sharp steps toward heart-break, heart-redrawn.

Then the poem captures precisely what I wanted it to.

Thank you for your reply, and the hopes you have offered. I think it was the right decision for me to make, particularly at this time. I hate causing someone else heart break, I despise hurting others, and I am always saddened when I need to reclaim a bit of my heart. I can only hope the fallout will not affect too many others.

[raze]

*Wince* If you're experiencing even half the emotion this poem conveys, I am deeply sorry for what you're going through.

[alee_grrl]

Thank you. Making a decision and ending things, along with some very supportive and helpful chats with family, allowed me to finally get some sleep last night, which helps. Time will help with the rest.