Very useful post on asexuality

[alee_grrl]

verbs_not_nouns posted a very interesting and useful (to me at least) post on asexuality.

The concept of sexual desire as a parallel spectrum to sexual orientation is a newer one for me.
For the longest time I have felt that something must be wrong with me because I have little to no interest in sex. That is not to say that I have no interest in intimacy or relationships. The two are different things. I love having people to share my life with. I enjoy touch in a lot of ways (holding hands, cuddling, some forms of dancing), but have no little to desire for sex. Quite honestly I never really have. I have in fact been celibate for nearly a decade (with occasional masturbation). The time period I've not been sexually active is now greater than the time I was (considering only voluntary sexual activity, about five years). I was molested as a child, and some might argue that this is why I have little to no sex drive. However I don't feel that this is 100% accurate. I've known others with similar pasts and while they may have had issues and triggers that they had to work out with their partners, they didn't lack libido entirely. I've recently learned that there are some health issues that may have impacted this lack of libido, though I'm uncertain to what degree they might effect things. Lyme disease, depression and anti-depressants all effect libido. I had little to no sex drive long before I was on anti-depressants. I've possibly had Lyme since I was about seven years old. Who knows what long term effects it might have had on a prepubescent child. Only time will tell if treatment for Lyme affects my libido. Regardless of the outcome, it is nice to know that I'm not alone in this situation, that there are others who feel similarly, and that I'm not necessarily broken. Maybe things will change, maybe they won't. Regardless, it's okay to be me.

Comments

Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith]

What you are is what you are. That's cool. You can look for romance, or friendship, or whatever without necessarily having sex stuck to it.

Check out asexual_fandom. There's an asexual-romance fest for Valentine's Day.

Re: Yes...

[alee_grrl]

Thank you for both the kind words and the community rec. Both are vvery much appreciated.

[lilmoka]

Take your time. You don't have to give a name to your orientation immediately. Choose what you feel more comfortable with.

*ace hugs*

[alee_grrl]

Definitely taking my time before embracing any new labels. I think the big breakthrough fir me was despising that there are others who feel the same way. For the longest time I've felt like this was something I was supposed to want "fixed" even if I was happy and comfortable with things the way they are. It's nice to be able to let that go. Thanks for the hugs. Hugs from friends are always appreciated. :)

[sulien]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asexuality and lack of sexual desire. At the very best, you're not going to wind up with worrying about STDs and pregnancy, nor do you have to worry about sex messing up a good friendship. I honestly can't think of a 'worst', because there really isn't one.

Yep, it's always good to be yourself. :)

[alee_grrl]

Thanks. There are definitely some huge benefits. :) I've have had some highly entertaining conversations with doctors when the question of possible pregnancy comes up. They're always taken aback with my response of "not unless you believe in immaculate conception."

[lynnoconnacht]

It is very, very definitely okay to be you. ^-^

What everyone else has said. ^-^ (They said it better than I could.)

*offers hugs*

[alee_grrl]

Thank you. Hugs from friends are always welcome. :)

[lynnoconnacht]

*huggles*