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alee_grrlSuccessfully survived my three day intensive Mediation class. A lot of work, a lot of learning and a whole lot of being shoved out of your comfort zone. I've played the role of peacemaker before, but not in any sort of official role. I have never liked conflict and usually felt like it was my job to try to resolve that. Mediation and mediation advocacy (representing someone in a mediation) was both familiar and different. Being a mediator is less about solving the problem and more about making it possible for the parties involved to solve the problem. That is a hard lesson to learn. And it is very difficult to rise above the fray in intense and emotional settings. We may have been in a class setting, but folks can get very into their roles and that can be overwhelming at times. Particularly when you have health issues and the class days are very long. I found my balance by the second day at lunch (after mediating my first simulation that morning--a divorce). I didn't have a good idea of what I was doing that morning, but was much more confident by the afternoon. Nothing like a steep learning curve.
The hardest part, the part that really tested my ability to work outside of my comfort zone came in this mornings simulation. I was assigned a role that almost diametrically opposes my personal beliefs. I'm not going to get into the specifics of it, but it was an interesting challenge. It is not unlikely that I will someday be asked to represent someone or deal with something that I disagree with on some level, and there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to how much you let your own values influence your ability to advocate for someone. It is a frequent topic in law school classes. I believe that you have to keep your values and do your best to work within those values, but that you need some flexibility too. Today's issue for me ended up being very much a case of "I do not agree with you but I will defend your right to have your belief so long as you do not infringe on my rights." If that makes sense?
It was an exhausting morning and thankfully the afternoon session and simulation wasn't too intense. After three days I was about ready to fall over.
I am not particularly thrilled that I may soon have to utilize the skills I've learned and honed in both negotiation and mediation these past four weeks. My grandmother's health is not that great and the family is worried about her living on her own. She is opposed to moving into an assisted living apartment which is understandable for many reasons. It would be a huge change and would greatly impact what she sees as her independence. But her memory seems to be deteriorating as well as her physical health. My dad lives with her, but his job keeps him on the road for weeks at a time. It would not be a good idea for him to quit his job and take care of her. They are far too much alike and would be at each others throats in days. I cannot transfer or quit school to help. There is certainly no way that I could juggle school, my own care and treatment, and caring for her. No one else in the family lives nearby or would be able to move in to take care of her.
Her sister is staying with her right now. She lives about four hours away normally, but came up when my grandmother needed to be hospitalized earlier this week. She has been trying to get Grandma more comfortable with the idea of assisted living. My uncle, his wife, myself, my dad and at least one cousin were already planning on being in town for my Grandmother's birthday August 11. I have a feeling it may fall to me to help facilitate things. I did stress in my conversation with my dad tonight that if we wanted to make assisted living a possibility we needed to be very careful to make Grandma feel like part of the planning. It essentially needs to be her decision. She needs to feel like it is her idea. We need to be mindful so she doesn't feel like we are "ganging up" on her or trying to push her into a home so that she "isn't our problem". This is a scary and terrifying process, and it is hard to admit that you need help. All of these things and her fears and interests need to be considered. As memory fades emotions can be trickier and it can be harder to predict what will trigger things. My dad was thankfully very receptive to all of these comments and mentioned that he had already discussed some of these issues with my uncle. But he knows he is not very good at handling emotional situations, and he has stated that he will be glad to have me there. I'm much more savvy at that sort of thing.
I am going to take some pills and get some sleep. I talked with my prof and managed to get an extension on the final papers that we have to do for mediation. They were originally due Saturday, Aug. 4 at 11:59 p.m.. I now have until Monday, Aug. 6 at 11:59 p.m.. Thank the gods. So if I need to sleep and decompress tomorrow and get work done Friday, Saturday and Sunday I can. I would really like to have all the assignments for both classes done by Sunday since I'm flying out on Tuesday. I did take the lovelyuntonuggan's advice and got a foldable cane for my trip. It arrived today. I was impressed by how lightweight, sturdy and easy to carry it was. It takes a little bit of upper body strength to fold back up. But it was very sturdy when unfolded and did not feel like it would collapse at all. It fits into my travel purse nicely. I am very glad I got it. I think it will make this trip much easier.
Now for meds and bed. G'night all.
The hardest part, the part that really tested my ability to work outside of my comfort zone came in this mornings simulation. I was assigned a role that almost diametrically opposes my personal beliefs. I'm not going to get into the specifics of it, but it was an interesting challenge. It is not unlikely that I will someday be asked to represent someone or deal with something that I disagree with on some level, and there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to how much you let your own values influence your ability to advocate for someone. It is a frequent topic in law school classes. I believe that you have to keep your values and do your best to work within those values, but that you need some flexibility too. Today's issue for me ended up being very much a case of "I do not agree with you but I will defend your right to have your belief so long as you do not infringe on my rights." If that makes sense?
It was an exhausting morning and thankfully the afternoon session and simulation wasn't too intense. After three days I was about ready to fall over.
I am not particularly thrilled that I may soon have to utilize the skills I've learned and honed in both negotiation and mediation these past four weeks. My grandmother's health is not that great and the family is worried about her living on her own. She is opposed to moving into an assisted living apartment which is understandable for many reasons. It would be a huge change and would greatly impact what she sees as her independence. But her memory seems to be deteriorating as well as her physical health. My dad lives with her, but his job keeps him on the road for weeks at a time. It would not be a good idea for him to quit his job and take care of her. They are far too much alike and would be at each others throats in days. I cannot transfer or quit school to help. There is certainly no way that I could juggle school, my own care and treatment, and caring for her. No one else in the family lives nearby or would be able to move in to take care of her.
Her sister is staying with her right now. She lives about four hours away normally, but came up when my grandmother needed to be hospitalized earlier this week. She has been trying to get Grandma more comfortable with the idea of assisted living. My uncle, his wife, myself, my dad and at least one cousin were already planning on being in town for my Grandmother's birthday August 11. I have a feeling it may fall to me to help facilitate things. I did stress in my conversation with my dad tonight that if we wanted to make assisted living a possibility we needed to be very careful to make Grandma feel like part of the planning. It essentially needs to be her decision. She needs to feel like it is her idea. We need to be mindful so she doesn't feel like we are "ganging up" on her or trying to push her into a home so that she "isn't our problem". This is a scary and terrifying process, and it is hard to admit that you need help. All of these things and her fears and interests need to be considered. As memory fades emotions can be trickier and it can be harder to predict what will trigger things. My dad was thankfully very receptive to all of these comments and mentioned that he had already discussed some of these issues with my uncle. But he knows he is not very good at handling emotional situations, and he has stated that he will be glad to have me there. I'm much more savvy at that sort of thing.
I am going to take some pills and get some sleep. I talked with my prof and managed to get an extension on the final papers that we have to do for mediation. They were originally due Saturday, Aug. 4 at 11:59 p.m.. I now have until Monday, Aug. 6 at 11:59 p.m.. Thank the gods. So if I need to sleep and decompress tomorrow and get work done Friday, Saturday and Sunday I can. I would really like to have all the assignments for both classes done by Sunday since I'm flying out on Tuesday. I did take the lovely
untonuggan's advice and got a foldable cane for my trip. It arrived today. I was impressed by how lightweight, sturdy and easy to carry it was. It takes a little bit of upper body strength to fold back up. But it was very sturdy when unfolded and did not feel like it would collapse at all. It fits into my travel purse nicely. I am very glad I got it. I think it will make this trip much easier.Now for meds and bed. G'night all.
