alee_grrl: A kitty peeking out from between a stack of books and a cup of coffee. (Default)
[personal profile] alee_grrl
My surgery date has been moved up to Oct. 14! Very exciting news.

In less exciting news my brain weasels suddenly decided to get worked up last night and focused on the topic of "you having surgery is going to be such a pain in the ass for your chosen family cause they will have to take time out of their busy lives to take care of you." I have reminded them that I have never found it a hardship to reorganize my own schedule to help those I love out, and that this sort of thing is how healthy families work. But it is hard to let go off those first lessons learned. The only other surgeries I've had were while I was still living with my mother. My tonsils came out at 7, and since I was still in the "young enough to pamper" stage my mother was all lovely dovey and supportive. Sadly that didn't last very long. She would still do a bit of pampering if I was sick, but usually only if she could use it to make herself look like the wonderful mother making sacrifices for her sickly offspring. It was pretty hit and miss. By the time I had my gallbladder out in my early 20s, I was pretty much expected to take care of all things on my own. And if she did help there was a lot of "oh the things I do for my children; aren't I just the best mother in the world." Basically all the things that leave you thinking that being sick, injured, or needing surgery make you more of a burden than your worth. I've untangled a lot of these responses and can now recognize them as bullshit. But the deep brain weasels still love to latch on to the old thoughts.

So I'm doing my best to focus on the positive. While surgery is never done lightly, and recovery won't be a walk in the park, it will be well worth it in the long run. It will be one less regular source of pain (physical and mental) and aggravation. And that makes it entirely worth it. Also my chosen family is awesome and nothing at all like my mother.

Other unrelated good things: There is a steampunk festival in Vermont this year (Sept 11-13) and I have treated myself to a weekend pass, tickets to the ball, and a hotel for the weekend. Doubt I'll do any cosplay this year, but it will still be a blast to go. One of my sisters and nephew will meet up with me on Saturday to hang out and enjoy things. So that is very happy making.

Date: 2015-09-03 08:01 pm (UTC)
sulien: Made from my favorite photo of Big Lagoon, Humboldt, CA (Default)
From: [personal profile] sulien
Fabulous! I'm glad your surgery date was moved up so that you have less time to have to deal with and work around the pain. The recovery isn't as bad these days as it used to be, so long as they can perform most of the surgery laparoscopically. If the surgeon has to cut the muscles of the abdominal wall, recovery will take quite a bit more time.

Our parents do a spectacular job of programming our reactions to various things, and our thoughts in general, and it is never easy to reprogram our consciousness to correct any negativity they've placed in our psyches over the years. Thankfully, you already understand this and have won half the battle to reprogram or deactivate the Brain Weasels just by understanding that they're there, what they are and working to re-write the 'bad code' that activates them. Keep up the good work, you'll get that code re-written yet! Pardon the computer software analogy, it has just seemed particularly apropos of such things to me and I use it to remind myself to actively think things through to 'over write the code' when my own Braine Weasels start whispering or my Mom tries to manipulate me (yep, 56 years old and it still happens, probably always will).

The Steampunk festival sounds like a blast. I've never been to one, but they sound like a lot of fun, particularly the 'Tea Dueling' (which made me laugh the first time I heard about it). I hope you and your loved ones have a lovely time!

Date: 2015-09-03 09:46 pm (UTC)
sperrywink: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sperrywink
Have fun at the steampunk festival!

Date: 2015-09-04 11:05 am (UTC)
calissa: (Default)
From: [personal profile] calissa
Tea duelling? That sounds amazing! I hope you have a blast.

And good news about the surgery!

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