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Ponderings, aka trying to get back in the habit of posting here
I have had all the intentions of posting more frequently for ages, but none of the follow through. But the recent meltdown of tumblr and subsequent fall-out (namely dreamwidth seeing more activity, particularly from fandom folks seeking refuge from tumblr) has reminded me of that goal.
Part of the problem for me has been trying to figure out what to write and being intimidated about posting after so long a hiatus. Not sure why the latter happens, but brains are weird.
So let's see, what's happened in the life of Manda since my last major update (which was something like a year and half ago)?
I'm still working at the same small law firm. I still adore my boss and co-workers, though the stress of working at an understaffed firm can be a bit much at times. It's been a bit more stressful the past month or so because our boss has been out recovering from surgery, which means it's me and one other attorney (who thankfully has a few more years of practice under his belt than I) trying to keep everything running.
I recently turned 39, which is kind of mind boggling. And while I sometimes have the "omg, I'm going to be 40, what have I accomplished, etc." brain weasels, I also marvel over the fact that I have survived nearly 4 decades on this earth. Considering my overall health issues and periods of extremely severe depression, it's a pretty remarkable thing. So go me!
Other things of note from this year. I attended my 20 year high school reunion in May, which was a hoot. Had I not managed to attend this particular school (a public boarding school for gifted and talented) I probably would never even have considered going to a high school reunion. But my final two years of high school were spent at said school, and it became the first place that ever made me feel like there was someplace I belonged on this earth. It was the first time I was really able to spend time around people who were like me in a lot of ways. And while I still felt like a freak sometimes (teenage hormones, how I do not miss you at all), I also felt welcomed and seen, which was a new feeling for me.
Thanks to the internets I've been able to stay in touch and/or reconnect with some of my high school friends. I was in the Peace Corps for our ten year anniversary and couldn't afford to travel back for it, so I really wanted to go this year. It was also the first time I'd been back to North Louisiana in 15 years, so that was interesting. I was careful about who I told about my trip while I was there because there are some people and family I did not want to see. But otherwise I had a grand time.
In addition to attending the reunion and catching up with those high school friends. I also spent time with one of my cousins who I have remained close to all these years, as well as a friend from my original high school (the one I went to before transferring to the boarding school) who was also a good friend during my college years. It's amazing how 15 years can pass and you can pick up right where you left off, feeling as if you just saw each other yesterday.
The trip was a lot of fun, though it reminded me that I absolutely, positively did not miss the Louisiana heat and humidity. Or the bugs for that matter. :D
I'm sure there is plenty of other stuff that I could ramble about, but I'm going to wrap this post up for now. I am hoping to start posting more frequently, but make no promises. On the other hand, if there is anything you'd like to know more about, hit me up. Sometimes prompts make it easier to come up with posts.
Hope everyone is having a happy, peaceful, and as low stress as possible holiday season (and enjoying whatever particular holidays they celebrate). Much love to you all. <3
Part of the problem for me has been trying to figure out what to write and being intimidated about posting after so long a hiatus. Not sure why the latter happens, but brains are weird.
So let's see, what's happened in the life of Manda since my last major update (which was something like a year and half ago)?
I'm still working at the same small law firm. I still adore my boss and co-workers, though the stress of working at an understaffed firm can be a bit much at times. It's been a bit more stressful the past month or so because our boss has been out recovering from surgery, which means it's me and one other attorney (who thankfully has a few more years of practice under his belt than I) trying to keep everything running.
I recently turned 39, which is kind of mind boggling. And while I sometimes have the "omg, I'm going to be 40, what have I accomplished, etc." brain weasels, I also marvel over the fact that I have survived nearly 4 decades on this earth. Considering my overall health issues and periods of extremely severe depression, it's a pretty remarkable thing. So go me!
Other things of note from this year. I attended my 20 year high school reunion in May, which was a hoot. Had I not managed to attend this particular school (a public boarding school for gifted and talented) I probably would never even have considered going to a high school reunion. But my final two years of high school were spent at said school, and it became the first place that ever made me feel like there was someplace I belonged on this earth. It was the first time I was really able to spend time around people who were like me in a lot of ways. And while I still felt like a freak sometimes (teenage hormones, how I do not miss you at all), I also felt welcomed and seen, which was a new feeling for me.
Thanks to the internets I've been able to stay in touch and/or reconnect with some of my high school friends. I was in the Peace Corps for our ten year anniversary and couldn't afford to travel back for it, so I really wanted to go this year. It was also the first time I'd been back to North Louisiana in 15 years, so that was interesting. I was careful about who I told about my trip while I was there because there are some people and family I did not want to see. But otherwise I had a grand time.
In addition to attending the reunion and catching up with those high school friends. I also spent time with one of my cousins who I have remained close to all these years, as well as a friend from my original high school (the one I went to before transferring to the boarding school) who was also a good friend during my college years. It's amazing how 15 years can pass and you can pick up right where you left off, feeling as if you just saw each other yesterday.
The trip was a lot of fun, though it reminded me that I absolutely, positively did not miss the Louisiana heat and humidity. Or the bugs for that matter. :D
I'm sure there is plenty of other stuff that I could ramble about, but I'm going to wrap this post up for now. I am hoping to start posting more frequently, but make no promises. On the other hand, if there is anything you'd like to know more about, hit me up. Sometimes prompts make it easier to come up with posts.
Hope everyone is having a happy, peaceful, and as low stress as possible holiday season (and enjoying whatever particular holidays they celebrate). Much love to you all. <3
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40... Dude, I hear you on that one, I'm staring down the barrel of 60 myself and wondering where the ever loving bloody blue blazing Hells the last 20 years have gone. :-p 40 is good though, it's the beginning of that time in life when you can tell the world to take a flying flip and that comments from the anonymous peanut gallery are neither necessary nor welcome, you'll go your own way, thanks (at least 40 was good for me that way).
*sending belated birthday wishes, hugs and positive vibes*
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It may be a bit before we can afford to hire someone else at the firm (we're only in our second year of business, I was hired shortly after my boss broke away from his previous firm to start his own). But I think it will be less stressful when Boss is back even part time, which will hopefully be shortly after the first of the year.
I think 40 will be a good thing for me in the same way. There is a peace that has come with age and the steady erosion of fucks to give that growing older can bring. While I still have days that I struggle with being comfortable in my own skin, they are far, far fewer than they used to be.
Always lovely to hear from you! <3
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Glad to hear you are still at the same workplace and enjoying it, too. Despite the boss's surgery I hope you are having a low stress December, too!
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I had a lot of feels at 31 rather than 30, but I did have them. And you're right, no matter how much we've rejected the cultural narrative, it does still get in one's head.
I hope law school is going well! <3