ailelie: (Default)
ailelie ([personal profile] ailelie) wrote2025-11-05 11:27 pm

Saving this link

I need to remember to review this post when picking out some books for a nieph: https://stackedbooks.org/ya-horror-comics/
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-11-05 10:55 pm

today, for reasons, we went to Bromley

For reasons this also revealed that the hair stick that went missing after E4, that I was convinced that field had also eaten, to the point that I'd almost resigned myself to just fucking buying another one, had been lurking in (one of) the bag(s) I'd already checked like three times.

And. Upon leaving the carpark. We were greeted by this:

[a municipal garden bed drifted with autumn leaves, behind which a wall, behind which some trees, behind which a house]

Which, when you look a little closer, contains signs:

[zoomed in on the wall. there are two painted signs, A-road style, white on green, pointing left. the top one reads "POLAR BEARS/PENGUINS/GORILLAS". the bottom reads "GIRAFFE/HOUSE".]

+5 )

erika: (me: 5 year old me)
Erika ([personal profile] erika) wrote2025-11-03 10:53 pm
Entry tags:

well, how did i get here? (into the blue again, after the money's gone, once in a lifetime)

Much to my amazement, in two hours I turn forty.

Forty. Four zero. 40. 4. 0. I've been telling almost everyone I meet, repeating the facts to strangers and friends and acquaintances, my psychiatrist and my sister and my surrogate aunts. I didn't expect to get here and I find the fact of forty, frankly, jarring. My teeth grit against the absolute insanity of time marching on to this extent—how did I get here?

Some of the people who are reading this potentially have known me since I was 12 and just like me, probably didn't expect me to get here. Mind-boggling as well.

What has changed recently? Not much! To misquote Tolstoy, perhaps happy days are all alike, but each unhappy day is unhappy in its own way. Or maybe it's the opposite, and it's my newfound ability to revel in choice of enjoyable activities with a reliably upbeat mood climate that's truly unlocked this newfound persistence of pleasant presence.

Current psychiatrist has narrowed down my meds and diagnoses to a fine degree, now that she actually believes I'm ill. (Long story but basically she didn't take me seriously until my last attempt. Wait, not a long story.) Who would have guessed that the magic wand would be ~lithium~ and the magic words, bipolar disorder? Doc's not 100% on it yet but I'm pretty convinced.

My intention is to update again tomorrow, but I'll post this now just in case.
ladysheps: (Default)
Cynti ([personal profile] ladysheps) wrote in [community profile] fandom_icons2025-11-03 11:23 pm
Entry tags:

15 Actresses Icons

[5] Emilia Clarke
[5] Nina Dobrev
[5] Shailene Woodley

  

Find them all here.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-11-02 10:10 pm
Entry tags:

vital functions

Observing. All Souls'. Candle lit; Seelkuchen eaten.

Reading. Rucka, Waitrose Cookery School, Stocks, Duncan, Ravindran )

Playing. Merrily pootling along with I Love Hue. Hatched my first dragon with Primal eyes in The Dragons Game.

Cooking. Two variations on a recipe: smitten kitchen's winter squash and spinach pasta bake and the recipe that inspired it, Ottolenghi's pasta and butternut squash cake. On the first day I definitely preferred the smitten kitchen version; on subsequent days I became increasingly convinced by the Ottolenghi. (You see, I had about twice as much of all of the ingredients as I needed, and the spinach definitely needed eating Imminently, and so I thought I'd make them simultaneously so we could do the side-by-side comparison and then freeze some...)

And then this evening I made another round of the wahaca autumn stew with pipián, this time with even wronger chillis but a sensible amount of herbs, and was delighted that it met with my mother's approval.

Eating. SCHWARZBROT with Lizard honey. Curries various courtesy of my father. Salads and lunches various courtesy of my mother. The dark chocolate & raspberry stars that are a Special Seasonal Treat. National Trust lemon drizzle cake. A RASPBERRY.

Exploring. THE NEW SITE FOR ADMIN: THE LRP. And this afternoon we went on an adventure to Anglesey Abbey, where the dahlias were alas gone but we found many many more cyclamen than we knew were there, and several things in the winter garden were at a different stage than I think I'd ever seen them before and were extremely pretty with it.

Creating. Carved a pumpkin for the toddler!

kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-11-01 11:33 pm
Entry tags:

new site!

Today has been largely taken up by my first visit to the NEW SITE for Admin: the LRP...

... or at least, my first visit in something like twenty years, because it's the old Cottenham racecourse and I absolutely went to one (1) race there in My Misspent Youth. Sudden wave of déjà vu on the final approach to the grandstand, as the perspective shifted to YEP, THIS IS A PLACE I'VE BEEN.

There was Make Tent go Up. There was meeting. There was Make Tent Go Down. There was being given Objects. And there was A BAT that did some beautifully ostentatious swooping against the darkening dusk, and I am delighted.

jjhunter: silhouetted woman by winding black road; blank ink tinted with green-blue background (silhouetted JJ by winding road)
jjhunter ([personal profile] jjhunter) wrote2025-10-31 11:26 pm

Poem: "One Big Beautiful BS"

One Big Beautiful BS -
that the sludge of the past could ever be forever burned without consequence

Whose bones are they breaking today
drilling out the marrow of our good earth
emptying out communities to collapse in upon themselves?

perhaps they expect neighbors will be eating neighbors the very next day
all these hoarders so eager to end good governance by the people, for the people

boys in masks waving guns )

___
Last edited: 01Nov25

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primeideal: Lan and Moiraine from "Wheel of Time" TV (moiraine damodred)
primeideal ([personal profile] primeideal) wrote2025-10-31 10:09 pm
Entry tags:

Spire = Slain

I have been extremely into Slay the Spire over the last few months, just now I beat the "bonus level" (Act IV) final boss for the first time :D Playing as the Defect (robot juggler), who's probably my favorite.

I got the colorless card "Apotheosis," combined with the Power card "Static Discharge," that's like "when you take attack damage, channel one lightning." Once I upgraded, it was "when you take attack damage, channel two lightning." Got some good potions towards the end (Regen Potion, Potion of Capacity giving me extra orb spots, I also had "free power card" which I wound up not even needing...) So I was able to have lots of orb slots. And then the Heart does a strength-3 attack 12 times, which meant I was channeling twenty-four lightning that turn. So...yeah. That worked.

Will I try again with the other characters/ascension bonus modes? Probably. Will this mean I'm slightly less addicted to it and can do other things as well? We can only hope.
ailelie: (lamplighters)
ailelie ([personal profile] ailelie) wrote2025-10-31 12:47 pm
Entry tags:

Snippet from today's writing (so far)

People die without their warmth. It replenishes, but slowly. Too slowly. You don't know how much Feylon has lost. Or how much he has left.

Normally, the only way for him to regain any warmth would be the long way, but your knives offer an alternative.

The cocoon of shadows throbbing around Feylon's form seem to ignore your approach. Through the thick veil of fog, Feylon's face appears gray and his lips blue. You hope it is cold and not a lack of air that has leeched his color.

Your knives slide down to your hands with practiced ease. The alchemical blue veins glint in the dim light of the street. Patience stills your blades as you step closer to the knot of white surrounding Feylon.

Feylon has to bleed on the blades and hold them in the Shadow. The alchemy will draw his warmth back out and into him. You will be the one keeping his hands on the blades. Once it starts, you can't let go.

With an explosive lunge, you sink your knives into the Shadow. It hardens the fog into ice around your blades. Swinging your feet up, you push against the ice. Your blades tear free, and, with a backflip, you land in a low crouch.

Ice needles shoot toward you. You throw up an arm and twist your body to protect your face. Needles sting as they lodge in your shoulder and bicep. As soon as the onslaught end, you leap forward again and tear at the Shadow with your knives.

It fights back, but it is feeding, so every slash of your blades hurts it. It is feeding, a voice in the back of your mind says. Feylon lives.

The Shadow shrinks away from your knives, freeing Feylon's torso and, more importantly, his hands covering his chest in what had proven to be very inadequate protection.




So, I don't like the first lines on this bit, but I'm also tired of staring at them. Maybe my crit group will have thoughts when they reach this part.
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-10-30 10:11 pm

today my most important job was Pointy Objects

I supplied knives and fine motor control; the toddler supplied art direction; the toddler's resident adults supplied outlines for me to cut around (and candles, and matches, and in fact all of the cutting of the tiny pumpkin).

one large and one small pumpkin, carved, with candles, in the dark

kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-10-29 09:48 pm
Entry tags:

[pain] working on an articulation

I have, in the latest book, got to The Obligatory Page And A Half On Descartes, but this one makes a point of describing it as a "reductionistic approach".

The Thing Is, of course, that much like the Bohr model (for all that's 250 years younger, give or take), for many and indeed quite plausibly most purposes, The Cartesian Model Of Pain is, for most people and for most purposes, good enough: if you've got to GCSE level then you'll have met the Bohr model; if you get to A-level, you'll start learning about atomic orbitals; and then by the time I was starting my PhD I had to throw out the approximation of atomic nuclei as volumeless points (the reason you get measurable and interpretable stable isotope fractionations of thallium is -- mostly! -- down to the nuclear field shift effect).

Similarly, most of the time you don't actually need to know anything beyond the lie-to-children first-approximation of "if you're experiencing pain, that means something is damaging you, so work out what it is and stop doing that". The Bohr model is good enough for a general understanding of atomic bonds and chemical reactions; specificity theory is good enough for day-to-day encounters with acute pain.

The problem with specificity theory isn't actually that it's wrong (although it is); it's that it gets misapplied in cases where Something More Complicated is going on in ways that obscure even the possibility of Something More Complicated. The problem, as far as I'm concerned, is that it doesn't get presented with the footnote of "this isn't the whole story, and for understanding anything beyond very short-term acute pain you need to go into considerably more detail". But most people aren't in more complex pain than that! Estimates run at ~20% of the population living with chronic pain, but even if we accept the 43% that sometimes gets quoted about the UK, most people do not live with chronic pain.

There's probably an analogy here with the "Migraine Is Not Just A Bad Headache" line (and indeed I'm getting increasingly irritated with all of these books discussing migraine as though the problem is solely and entirely the pain, as opposed to, you know, the rest of the disabling neurological symptoms) but I'm upping my amitriptyline again and it's past my bedtime so I'm not going to work all the details of that out now, but, like, Pain Is Not Just A Tissue Damage, style of thing.

Anyway. The point is that I still haven't actually read Descartes (I've got the posthumously published and much more posthumously translated Treatise on Man in PDF, I just haven't got to it yet) and nonetheless I am bristling at people describing him as reductionist (derogatory). Just. We aren't going to do better if we also persist in wilful misunderstandings and misrepresentations for the sake of slagging off someone who has been dead for three hundred and seventy-five years instead of recognising the actual value inherent in "good enough for most people most of the time", and how that value complicates attempts at more nuance! How about we actually acknowledge the reasons the idea is so compelling, huh, and discuss the circumstances under which the approximation holds versus breaks down? How about that for an idea.

kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-10-28 09:26 pm
Entry tags:

[link] EXPASS best practice guidelines published!

Sarah Russell of The Ostomy Studio, the person who made such an enormous difference to my general State Of Being just over a year ago via the medium of a private Pilates lesson pre-surgery, has just announced publication of the new Exercise and Physical Activity after Stoma Surgery best practice guidelines that she's been working on for literal years along with some amazing collaborators!

The principles here are the bedrock for the private lesson I had before surgery, and are also what I used as my foundation for rehab despite not after all needing to work with a stoma; I've not read them in full, but if you know folk they might be of interest to then please do pass the link on <3

ladysheps: (Default)
Cynti ([personal profile] ladysheps) wrote in [community profile] fandom_icons2025-10-29 01:59 am
Entry tags:

15 Actresses Icons

[5] Daisy Ridley
[5] Ella Purnell
[5] Margot Robbie

Preview:


  

View all the icons here.
primeideal: Egwene al'Vere from "Wheel of Time" TV (egwene al'vere)
primeideal ([personal profile] primeideal) wrote2025-10-27 07:17 pm
Entry tags:

(SFF Bingo): Jade City, by Fonda Lee

This is the first installment in the "Green Bone" trilogy that ranks highly in /r/fantasy polls, and I found it lived up to the hype!

Premise: Jamloon is the capital city of Kekon, an island country that's the source of bioenergetic jade. Most ethnically Kekonese people--but few others--get magical powers from touching jade, and so they can train as martial artists to hone their skills. A couple generations ago, the One Mountain society of Green Bone warriors (and their civilian supporters) fought a guerilla war for Kekon's independence, as part of a wider global conflict. But after the war, the society splintered into feuding clans (sort of like the Chinese "triad" organized crime system), which are now on the verge of outright gang war. And it's happening against the backdrop of a late-20th century tech level. People strangle each other with telephone cords, record incrimidating conversations on cassette tapes, and there's a whole scene of "how do I get in touch with this guy, do I use his home phone number or his work phone or call his girlfriend or what?!" from the just-pre-cell phone era. I normally roll my eyes when authors namedrop a bunch of RL car makes or brand name guns, but if it's fictional car or gun manufacturers that coexist with fantastical superpowers, it turns out I'm here for it.

There are a lot of POVs, but not in an overwhelming way. The main focus is on the Kaul siblings, prominent in the No Peak clan: Lan, Hilo, and Shae, and their honorary "cousin" Anden. At times, mostly early on, it felt like head-hopping--are we in character A's POV, or did we just switch to B's? But maybe it's just A having a reasonably educated guess what B is thinking, either from normal human intuition or, in some cases, magically augmented Perception.

If you like magic systems, with clearly-outlined "disciplines" and delineations of what jade can accomplish, this book is for you. Anden is in his final year at the academy, which features such exciting tests and rituals as "the Massacre of the Rats," as well as non-magical education such as "competitive matches in poetry recital, speed math, and logic game." Would attend. And if you like the Wheel of Time-style magic where different people have different tolerances for magic, it can be dangerous and addictive, but there's a lot of social status riding on who outranks whom, this book is definitely for you. The descriptions of jade addiction, and the obsessive desire it provokes both in experienced users and small-time criminals with delusions of grandeur, are very compelling. A new drug has promise for increasing people's tolerance, or making foreigners able to use it when they wouldn't otherwise, but comes with its own side effects. Will international trade help Kekon modernize, or will they export their "backward" martial culture to the rest of the world? The tension that comes from being on the precipice of great technological change is palpable everywhere.

I loved the description of the war of independence, and how in some ways it was easier than maintaining unity in peacetime.

 
During the war, the people called Ayt the Spear of Kekon. He was the daring, vengeful, ferocious Green Bone warrior that the Shotarians feared and hated, a man who spoke little but wreaked deadly havoc on the occupiers, only to always escape into the shadows and up into the mountains.
His closest comrade, Kaul Sen, was the elder, more seasoned rebel, a shrewd and masterful tactician who, along with his son, Du, distributed secret pamphlets and broadcast subversive radio messages that inspired and organized the network of Lantern Men that became the key to the One Mountain Society’s success.
The Spear and the Torch.
Kaul Sen's right-hand man, Yun Dorupon, turns out to be a total creep. This part was powerful but not overstated.
Years away had not dimmed Shae’s loathing of Yun Dorupon. He’d cost her not just a friend, but the once matchless admiration she’d had for her grandfather.


Some small nitpicks:

When the story begins, Shae has just returned to Kekon after parting on bad terms with her family two years ago. At first, it's like, "she was dating a foreigner, Kekonese people can be xenophobic, that's too bad." It's not until the 46% mark that we learn more about what she was doing that was so disgraceful before she left. I would have liked to learn that a little earlier, it feels pretty important in evaluating her character. That might say more about my priorities IRL, though.

When describing Kekonese festival or cultural traditions, the narrative voice occasionally jumps into generic present tense, which felt jarring. There are a couple "interludes" that recount Kekonese religious lore about the first humans; those were fine because they were their own chapters.

There's a sex scene early on that was a bit too NSFW for my tastes, I would not want to read 500 pages of that. The rest of the book is not like that, however. Even when there were other descriptions of intimacy, it was less gratuitous.

The ending:
spoilers )
But overall, there are lots of great perspectives, like a small-time criminal getting a fancy gun:
 
He’d never owned anything bigger than a pocket-sized pistol and couldn’t believe his luck. He felt as if he were holding a baby; he didn’t know where to put his hands, how to properly cradle such a valuable object.
Or this kind of culture shock:
Sporting events on Kekon were different from how they were in Espenia. Shae had been astounded by how rowdy and jovial the crowds were over there. The Espenians sang and chanted constantly; they cheered and booed, waved flags, and shouted nonsensical instructions at the players and coaches. The Kekonese were no less passionate in their team loyalties, but no one would think to yell at the field or distract the participants.
The other countries aren't fleshed out in detail, so it's not distracting in the way that "oh this is just clearly the USA/Russia/China with the serial numbers filed off" would be. On the other hand, Espenia has a secretary of the War Department so...that aged well.

Bingo: Author of Color, was a previous readalong.
ailelie: (Default)
ailelie ([personal profile] ailelie) wrote2025-10-27 12:46 pm
Entry tags:

Being an adult

My nephew is turning 19 on Halloween. I've bought him a couple books on adulthood. One book lays out 12 steps. After reading through them, I thought about my own reflections on the topic after being alive 40 & 3/4-ish years.

To me, it boils down to this: decide who you are and be them.

For me, that has meant exploring my core values and what those values mean for my daily life. It also means owning my strengths and struggles. Etc.

Thoughts?
flareonfury: (Adalind/Nick)
Stephanie ([personal profile] flareonfury) wrote in [community profile] fandom_icons2025-10-26 09:23 pm
Entry tags:

Grimm Icons (Adalind, Kelly & Nick, Adalind/Nick)

[03] Adalind Schade
[01] Kelly Burkhardt-Scade & Nick Burkhardt
[86] Adalind Schade/Nick Burkhardt
Preview




See the icons here




[20] Adalind Schade/Nick Burkhardt for [community profile] ships20in20 round 2

See the icons here
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett ([personal profile] kaberett) wrote2025-10-26 09:19 pm
Entry tags:

vital functions

Reading. Two things finished, various things picked up and put down again.

Ouch!, Kerr & McRobbie: the subtitle is Why pain hurts, and why it doesn't have to; it's indicative of my current preoccupations that I was actively surprised that it is not, in fact, about chronic pain, except in passing, in that it's mentioned in the introduction in the context of pains the authors have experienced, and then it just sort of... vanishes again. What it actually is is more-or-less a tour of the sociology of acute pain, from a variety of perspectives and contexts, and an invitation to reshape your relationship with pain, optionally via the medium of sports.

It's very much aimed at a general audience (by which I mean both "not people with any particular pre-existing knowledge about pain" and also "not chronic pain patients"), with the infuriating-to-me feature of having not an actual bibliography but instead a "selected references" section, i.e. any claims I wanted to actually check required digging and then guessing (and in one case working out that they were actively wrong about which year the thing was published in, at least for referencing purposes). I did nonetheless get some useful information and vocabulary out of it (I'm especially here for the pointer to the 3P approach to pain management), and it prompted another couple of articulations.

Overall: not a disrecommendation; plausibly a light read if you have, you know, a recreational interest in pain; verify any specifics you want to rely on.

The Old Guard: Opening Fire, Rucka et al. A's conclusion was Well It Was Better Than The Second Film; mine was mild spoilers? )

and would be very happy to see that show up in an extended cut of the first film. The library doesn't have the second volume and I think we're unlikely to seek it out.

DW catch-up: halfway through September!

Playing. Inkulinati, mostly watching A play and occasionally making Suggestions. Does not work as well as a Shared Activity as I'd hoped (annoyingly I think I'd need to play basically all of it hands-on myself in order to internalise mechanics and strategy, rather than being able to e.g. swap who's driving for every level) but I am enjoying it happening in my vicinity. Today we also read the PDF of the art book together, which I am not counting as Reading because it was mostly looking at the pictures in another context.

And after six months I GOT UNSTUCK ON I Love Hue! The Ascension/Air/1, extremely gratified that searching for it revealed someone who'd managed to complete everything but that, and bolstered by this knowledge I turned brightness all the way up and the phone upside down and FINALLY managed to sort out the yellows, on my nth attempt... in way fewer than the average number of moves. VICTORY.

Cooking. Read more... )

petra: A blonde woman with both hands over her face (Britta - Twohanded facepalm)
petra ([personal profile] petra) wrote in [community profile] fucking_meds2025-10-26 02:24 pm