The Freedom Song of the Jigsaw Girl

To endings and new beginnings

2022-10-01T01:32:35Z

Today was my last day at the firm I've worked with for the past five years, and mostly I just feel a stunning amount of relief to be done with it. Talking with my heart-mom this evening made me realize how much I hadn't even acknowledged to myself the issues and frustrations I had with this particular workplace or how toxic it was. Unlike the last really shitty job I had, the red flags were way more subtle and took a long time to really notice. I do think my boss, his wife, and the other senior attorney at the firm are not bad people necessarily, just deeply self-involved and out of touch with the reality that most of us deal with on a day-to-day basis.

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Every silver lining's got a touch of grey

2019-09-04T23:39:53Z

So I found out today that I am getting a much needed raise, which should (touch wood) ease some of my financial worries. And this was very happy making news, but I lacked the energy for much more than a profound thank you to my boss. Largely because my mouth freaking hurts, and while I'm good at tuning out pain to a certain degree it is still tiring.

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That moment when...

2016-06-02T22:34:30Z

paganaidd was reviewing helpful types of editors since she is well on her way to publishing her first novel. When she came across the concept of a developmental editor (sometimes referred to as a structural editor) she calmly noted that that is what she had me for, and then sent me an email telling me to add that title to my resume. Apparently there is a title for professional sounding board and creative brainstorming aid. I've been acting as such for her since she started working on her novel, and have been continuing on in that capacity now that she is working on the sequel.

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What a week (long post is long)

2014-07-20T02:29:12Z

I'm doing so-so. Tired and a bit out of it, but better than I was earlier in the week. I am not always sure what to include in content/trigger warnings. Please know that you can always tell me if something triggers you or you would prefer something go under a cut tag for any reason.

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How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

2014-07-02T01:58:21Z

Things at work have been...interesting, for lack of a better term, since I started back in March. The company I work for developed in a slightly different path from most American-based corporations and only recently started developing its business development/sales/marketing type department. The idea was to have a team that effectively worked as an extension of the President and supported sales and marketing. There have been a lot of hiccups in this process, and I am only coming into it rather late in the whole mess. But you can probably guess from a few of my posts the last few months that it's been stressful and anxiety making. The past week has brought some serious changes, which I think may ultimately be a good thing.

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hanging in and hanging on

2014-04-18T00:04:24Z

Anxiety levels got really bad last week, and depression started to kick up. We've upped my Effexor a bit more. I've also schedule a check-up with my Primary care, and went to get blood drawn today for the usual work-up (thyroid and metabolic levels). Appointment isn't until the 29th, but I wanted to get the blood work out of the way. I also found a counselor to start seeing and had my first appointment yesterday. The appointment went well and I think I will work well with this therapist. I have another appointment in a week and some breathing/mindfulness exercises to practice to try to help with the anxiety. We talked a lot about the effect of past trauma on the nervous system and how all the transitions I've been dealing with have put me into "not-safe hyper-reactive mode." My appointment was after work, and between the anxiety over seeing new therapist and a long day I was wiped.

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Self-care is hard

2014-04-05T02:33:55Z

I was supposed to go to Pennsylvania for the weekend for a friend's bridal shower and bachellorette party. I was very stressed and worried about this because it would have meant a second weekend traveling (last weekend was travel to Vermont to see Lyme Doc) and being out and about when I have been very low on spoons, very stressed by new job, and generally not feeling well. I was also supposed to be one of her bridesmaids, a thing that has been worrying me greatly because my ability to stand for long periods of time is pretty much nil. After really thinking about things I called my friend and let her know that I had been sick and would not be able to come this weekend, and also talked to her about my concerns regarding being a bridesmaid. She was very understanding.

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Whew. Survived first week of work.

2014-03-08T01:15:16Z

There were some changes at the company in the time between when I finished my internship and when I started my new job. Turns out that my title and job description have changed, but the important things (salary, benefits) have not. It is not a bad thing and I was vaguely aware that such changes might happen.

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Walking on Sunshine

2013-09-21T00:42:56Z

Today was a good day, and a nice cap to a good week.

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Massive Work Project Complete! ::tired happy dance::

2013-08-03T02:05:03Z

So upon starting my internship I was handed a project, which was to create a series of internal trainings on predictive coding (one of the hottest topics in the legal electronic discovery and big data world). I got handed the project because I already had a base knowledge on the topic since it was the focus of one of the massive papers I wrote last semester. I was given some more specific knowledge re: my company's software, and access to the internet (learning the basics of statistics and machine learning--very basics mind you--ftw!). I then had to break the topic down to be: a) accessible to a wide audience, including those of us who are less math-able; and b) short, bite-sized lessons. While I had some back-up from our talented graphic designers, who managed took my draft powerpoint presentations and made them even prettier, I did the design and scripting myself. I also learned a new program (Adobe Captivate) and did all the narration myself. Let me tell you, I have a whole new respect for voice actors and podcasters now. Not that I was lacking in respect before, but you know what I mean.

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