alee_grrl: A kitty peeking out from between a stack of books and a cup of coffee. (Default)
[personal profile] paganaidd was reviewing helpful types of editors since she is well on her way to publishing her first novel. When she came across the concept of a developmental editor (sometimes referred to as a structural editor) she calmly noted that that is what she had me for, and then sent me an email telling me to add that title to my resume. Apparently there is a title for professional sounding board and creative brainstorming aid. I've been acting as such for her since she started working on her novel, and have been continuing on in that capacity now that she is working on the sequel.

In other news, that first novel, Night Draws In is now available for pre-order on Kindle, print versions will be available at a later date.
alee_grrl: Black and white kitty peeking up out of a pink box.  Text above reads "Lurk" (lurk)
I'm doing so-so. Tired and a bit out of it, but better than I was earlier in the week. I am not always sure what to include in content/trigger warnings. Please know that you can always tell me if something triggers you or you would prefer something go under a cut tag for any reason. CW: discussion of health issues, primarily med interactions; mentions of childhood trauma and toxic parental units; employment related stress and firings (not me, I'm still employed) )

For those wondering, Z is doing quite well and coming back into her own as a dog. My sister has been doing amazing amounts of work with her (training in morning and evening every day--and throughout the day when opportunity presents itself). When I have spoons I do some training with her too. We've had great fun doing the ping-pong game where my sister and I sit on opposite sides of a room and practice here, sit, wait and find. She is starting to show more of her own personality, and she is going to fit right in with the rest of the family--she's smart and got a stubborn streak a mile wide. She's comfortable enough that we have to watch her or she'll swipe the cat's wet food at dinner (she used to be too scared to approach the cat when he was eating). We've found a good trainer to come in and work one on one with Z and my niece when niece returns from her dad's in early August. This will help niece bond with Z and make everyone worry less about niece walking Z. Seventy-pounds of muscle can pull an unsuspecting 13 year old off her feet pretty quickly (hell a seventy-pound dog can pull a full-grown adult off their feet if they aren't careful).

So that is what is going on in my world. All in all I'm doing okay, which is not so bad considering. I'm happy that I'm even remotely functioning. I'm super thankful for having the most-awesome support network and friendships even if I haven't felt much like talking to anyone this week. I know they're there, and that makes a world of difference.
alee_grrl: Bruce Willis holding coffee cup.  Text reads: Coffee fail....caffiene levels dangeriously low (coffee fail)
Things at work have been...interesting, for lack of a better term, since I started back in March. Read more... )

Tomorrow I'll be traveling to Vermont for my visit to my Lyme Doc, and then I get to spend a long weekend with family there. So that is very happy making. I have some work projects that I'll be trying to finish up during that time, and am super thankful that I can work remotely when I need to. All in all it isn't too hard to find things to be cautiously optimistic about.
alee_grrl: Black and white kitty peeking up out of a pink box.  Text above reads "Lurk" (lurk)
Anxiety levels got really bad last week, and depression started to kick up. We've upped my Effexor a bit more. I've also schedule a check-up with my Primary care, and went to get blood drawn today for the usual work-up (thyroid and metabolic levels). Appointment isn't until the 29th, but I wanted to get the blood work out of the way. I also found a counselor to start seeing and had my first appointment yesterday. The appointment went well and I think I will work well with this therapist. I have another appointment in a week and some breathing/mindfulness exercises to practice to try to help with the anxiety. We talked a lot about the effect of past trauma on the nervous system and how all the transitions I've been dealing with have put me into "not-safe hyper-reactive mode." My appointment was after work, and between the anxiety over seeing new therapist and a long day I was wiped.

Thankfully I had the foresight to plan, and accomplish two things with one work from home request. I asked to work from home today so I could go get blood drawn and not have to worry about getting into work very late. It was fasting blood work so I had to go first thing in the morning. Even if you have an appointment it can take forever (my insurance only covers LabCorp labs and they are usually chronically understaffed). I have a work laptop now, and the remote access key (VPN) so I can easily do my job from anywhere. The bonus was that it would give me a day of quiet to recoup my nerves a little bit. My co-workers are very nice, but can be a loud and a little much for someone who is feeling easily overstimulated. I'm back at the office tomorrow, but then have the weekend to rest some more.

I will eventually find my balance and keep it for a while. But for now it is best to take things a breath at a time.
alee_grrl: A kitty peeking out from between a stack of books and a cup of coffee. (Default)
I was supposed to go to Pennsylvania for the weekend for a friend's bridal shower and bachellorette party. I was very stressed and worried about this because it would have meant a second weekend traveling (last weekend was travel to Vermont to see Lyme Doc) and being out and about when I have been very low on spoons, very stressed by new job, and generally not feeling well. I was also supposed to be one of her bridesmaids, a thing that has been worrying me greatly because my ability to stand for long periods of time is pretty much nil. After really thinking about things I called my friend and let her know that I had been sick and would not be able to come this weekend, and also talked to her about my concerns regarding being a bridesmaid. She was very understanding.

TW: Discussions of medical issues, including anxiety and depression, and discussion of dietary restrictions )

Some good things:
  • Getting to spend time with Vermont family

  • My teenage niece and nephew wanting to spend time with me, and getting to have wonderful meandering discussions with them

  • Re-reading a favorite book (will try to find spoons to post about it separately)

  • Flowers (the pollen may make me sneeze, but seeing color is lovely)

  • The many amazing posts at [community profile] poetree this week


If I have spoons I may go see the new Captain America movie this weekend, because it looks awesome and well worth paying theater prices for.
alee_grrl: A kitty peeking out from between a stack of books and a cup of coffee. (Default)
There were some changes at the company in the time between when I finished my internship and when I started my new job. Turns out that my title and job description have changed, but the important things (salary, benefits) have not. It is not a bad thing and I was vaguely aware that such changes might happen.

I am now officially "Coordinator Strategic Accounts" for my company. Basically I'm working with the division of the company that manages sales and business development. It's not a bad fit for me at all since I am very good at communication, writing and marketing. Plus I like the team I am working with. It's definitely busy and more than a bit chaotic though as this team is still in development. Three days in and I was already getting larger tasks that I expected my first week. Not a bad thing at all, but it did cause my anxiety levels to spike for a while yesterday.

I've already decorated some of my desk with little toys that I've gotten from friends (an eraser shaped like a brain, a wonderfully worry-stone shaped eraser with "Keep Calm and Carry On" printed on it, a small Gumby, and a Smurfette figurine in a witch costume stirring a cauldron). I'm going to go through my art and photos and take in some pieces to decorate my cubicle walls with.

Monday I need to call my lyme doc and talk about resuming treatment (I held off on increases this past month so that I was at my best before the bar exam). I meant to call today but didn't get to it. I'm doing my best not to feel guilty about that. In all honesty I'm still pretty pooped from taking the bar, my period, and surviving my first week at a new job. Plus I had a touch of sinus crud/cold that I think I am getting over. Anyway, I'm going to go take a shower and curl up to read a bit before bed. Much love to all.
alee_grrl: Dread Pirate Roberts relaxing in satisfaction (Satisfaction)
Today was a good day, and a nice cap to a good week.

1st: I got to have lunch with the lovely [personal profile] jelazakazone, and got to see her gorgeous rooster quilt in person. We sat outside in the sunshine and enjoyed our lunches. It was wonderful.

2nd: I have gotten very, very good feedback from the folks at my internship. I've managed to impress the shit out of them, both this semester and over the summer. And I found out this afternoon that they are already considering me in their budget planning for the next year. They should have an actual offer put together for me within a month or so. I really like the company and the folks that I have been working with. So, provided that the offer meets my needs, I will likely take the position that I am offered. Now I just have to figure out what I need (and what I should be asking for). I'm woefully underprepared for salary and benefits negotiations having mostly done temp to hire positions and never having made more than $23,000/year. This is a whole new world, which is a good thing even if it is strange.

3rd: It is very likely that the company will be using one of the presentations I've been working on as their Continuing Legal Education (CLE) offering at LegalTech, which is the biggest convention for litigation technology/litigation support, in February. The sad thing, I won't be able to see it presented at the conference because I will be in the final month of studying for the bar exam. But damn I'm happy that my work is likely going to be the basis for such a cool thing.

4th: I'm feeling less fatigued. So I'm guessing the iron supplements are helping. ::happy dance::
alee_grrl: Dread Pirate Roberts relaxing in satisfaction (Satisfaction)
So upon starting my internship I was handed a project, which was to create a series of internal trainings on predictive coding (one of the hottest topics in the legal electronic discovery and big data world). I got handed the project because I already had a base knowledge on the topic since it was the focus of one of the massive papers I wrote last semester. I was given some more specific knowledge re: my company's software, and access to the internet (learning the basics of statistics and machine learning--very basics mind you--ftw!). I then had to break the topic down to be: a) accessible to a wide audience, including those of us who are less math-able; and b) short, bite-sized lessons. While I had some back-up from our talented graphic designers, who managed took my draft powerpoint presentations and made them even prettier, I did the design and scripting myself. I also learned a new program (Adobe Captivate) and did all the narration myself. Let me tell you, I have a whole new respect for voice actors and podcasters now. Not that I was lacking in respect before, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, I finished the last narration today. Got the lessons put up on our internal training site. And finished the last of the assessment quizzes. So yay! My sister located the local comic book shop and we took a family trip over after dinner. I treated myself to two graphic novels! I've been wanting to read the new Hawkeye series something fierce. So I picked up the first two trade paperbacks. Now I am tired and very ready for bed. Goodnight my friends.

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